Thursday 7 June 2012

The Blur

Days. That’s what we are expecting is left. Everything has gone downhill so fast but in that a positive lies. Mum won’t have to suffer much longer. The most horrible part of all of this is the lack of dignity cancer gives its victims. The lack of independence and humility.

I’m not working anymore and all projects have been put on pause or I’ve simply removed myself from them for now. The days are becoming a blur and quite frankly I don’t really care if its Monday or Thursday. It’s just another day in this waiting room.
My blood sugars are all over the place and any lows or highs seem to be affecting me sooner or more severely.  The long range isn’t going to be inspiring.
Sleep. That’s something that seems to happen a lot but is all just part of the blur and I wake up only to suddenly realise again, ‘Yes, this is still real and yes, we are still here’. Here trying to ease mum’s suffering. Here feeling mum’s pain.
She is now at the stage where words are exhausting or confused and every time she wakes she cries. Cries for what was and what could have been. It’s devastating to see her so sad. But through all this, there are surprisingly still smiles and laughter, hope and movement. There are comings and goings of doctors and palliative care nurses, of dogs and a cat, of friends and family. Bron, one of Mum’s closest lifelong friends has been staying here, up from down south, now in her third week as a carer and life support. I am here, temporarily moved back in to my family home. Despite the imminent knock of death, there is so much life in this house. So much support for an incredible woman who’s spent all her life caring for us.
Most of all there is love. There is love in the sighs, the smiles, and as eyes meet. Love flows in down the phone line, in emails and on postcards. There’s love in hot meals dropped around and bunches of flowers on the mantle. There’s love in her cat that won’t leave the room. Love of a life; for the memories and what lives on because she was here.
The sort of love that never dies

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