Not Quite Right

We're going on holiday soon and the break could not come sooner! I think the year's rough journey is finally taking its toll and catching up with me. I absolutely hate to admit it, but I think I'm about as close to 'empty' and 'burnt out' as I've ever been. There doesn't seem to be any area of my life which is strong, organised and championing forward the way I'd like. Everything is just 'hanging in there'. One of the hardest things about it all though is never really knowing if the way I'm feeling is 'normal' or because I have diabetes. I've blogged about the strange (but sometimes quite comic!) diabetic need to over achieve, and how hard it can be to say 'no', for fear of it being diabetes saying no, or not ever knowing what a non-diabetic would do in the same circumstance. I know I'm not alone in this too as many of you emailed or commented to say you knew exactly what I meant!

I had all my blood tests done on Monday, mainly my HbA1C of course, but with a few added extras because I've been feeling a bit run down. It doesn't seem to matter how many times I get them done, I still hate them! They don't get any easier, and in all the anticipation, my body thinks its funny to spike my blood sugar right before I get tested at the clinic. I don't think I've ever had a reading under 8 (though usually some where around 13 - 15)! Annoyingly, I can't get in to see my doctor (to discuss the results) until November 5th too. In the mean time I guess it's just about sticking to healthy eating, getting back into a consistent exercise regime and keeping those levels in check! Oh and not taking anything else on...perhaps even letting a few things go!

Hey You! Yes You there! Be Happy!

The iBGStar has been fantastic for helping me see just how erratic my blood sugars have been these past two weeks as well. There's so much information captured in the one area that it'll be fantastically informative once I can get into see all the specialists! The only gripe I really have now is that the finger pricker that comes with it, is a bit rough. I had to use my old pricker last night and had forgotten just how kind it used to be to my poor little fingers... so I'm going to make the swap back, despite loving the small size of the pricker which came with the iBGStar.

So I'm a bit beat, though not conquered. Reminding myself of the need to refocus on healthy living once again. Reminding myself everyday of what's important in the bigger picture. Living Happy.

Brain Aches and Baggy Eyes

Boy am I glad the weekend is almost here! The last week or so has been crazy full. There's been everything from illness to international fraud cases. I feel like I could just lay down and go to sleep and not wake up until next weekend!

Some of the most unfortunate news hit mid last week. The C Bomb.

I'm not talking the profane type, although that can hit the ears and minds of some pretty hard. I'm talking about the C bomb that has the power to leave you speechless, render you with the shakes and run off with your mind, all in the first moment it falls upon yours ears and trickles down to your heart. Cancer.

I've very fortunately not really heard that word much outside of my own mother's ordeal, until last week. Last week we heard of a friend who'd been dropped the C bomb. It was the first time I'd known of any one close to me being affected since we lost Mum. While I listened to the news, I realised how much I've learnt in the last six months alone, though it never gets easier to hear that some one close to you has been affected.

Saturday morning was my Dad's birthday. After a lovely family breakfast he received a phone call that would completely reshape the weeks ahead.

My family company have a new concept due to launch into the market place late this year. We had engaged a web designer, who at this point was three weeks into the site build, two weeks from finishing and ready to present us with the first stage on Mon 15th. Everything is riding on the website being finished asap.

Saturday morning Dad gets a call. The web designer had been caught drink driving. After being escorted home, it turns out he gave a false name. Alarm bells are a ringing!!! After a bit of home style super sleuthing it turns out his bank account, car registration, ABN, credits cards and so on are in three different names... bring on the googling!

Then my mind is blown. One of the names reveals this fellow has been on the run since 2006, having escaped England on fraud charges, and is awaiting a 6 and half year jail sentence. Oh and that was after a short stint of freedom, as he had previously been in the lock house for four years before that! There's alot more detail than that but you've got the gist!

iBGStar: Now we're talking!

I've now been with the iBGStar Glucose Meter for just over three weeks and I'm a very happy customer. While there are still a few questions on my mind about the meter, it's the overall package that has me completely sold. I love that I can enter and access all my data in one area, all the time, anywhere I am - because really I am rarely ever without my phone! While there are other programs out there, some of which I have had a play with, nothing quite compares to the easy of the auto downloads combined with the ability to enter your own data all in the palm of your hand.

How many of you look to your phone to kill time while waiting for a meeting to start or a bus to arrive? Those moments have now become opportunities to improve my control by entering more data about my life into the app. I'll just spend the time writing in all my extra info such as shots, food, exercise and other activities!

It's also become the ultimate in conversation starters and therefore, also somewhat of a Diabetes publicist! There has been an incredible amount of people who have never spoken to me about diabetes before, but who have now noticed the iBGStar attached to my phone, and are interested to know more. I've held my phone up to numerous dinner tables over the last couple of weeks to 'ohhhh's and 'Ahhh's as the big finger blood prick and corresponding animation whirl around the screen while we wait for the result to come up. Then everyone wants to talk about the result. Is it good? Why is it that number? How will it change when you eat? What are you normally? What should I be? The iBGStar could practically go out on its own global tour!

Having the meter function seamlessly with the app has also brought about better control. While I wrote down a lot of information before and often entered it into different apps, it was still relatively time consuming and I needed to use more than one medium - which often meant there were huge gaps in my information (and consistency) during busy times. This meter helps me to be more conscious about my choices and diabetes as a whole by making it quick and easy to keep a wide array of data.

My main concern about the meter now, is its longevity if I always have it attached to my phone. Such as: Will the front get very scratched up with time? Will long term use of the vibrating function on my phone impact the iBGStar eventually? But at the same time, these are questions that I don't have to worry about today and which are completely off set by the ease of use and user satisfaction!

I can definitely recommend the iBGStar glucose meter for Type 1's on injections.

Incoming!!

We've all done it. Over compensated for a low. I've just done it now...and I'm already thirsty just thinking about whats coming! Also kicking myself of course.

I sent a text to my boyfriend about an hour ago, 'I'm so tired today, even my face hurts! No idea why,  didn't even go for a run. Wish the weekend was here!'. Then as soon as I hit send, the little Diabetes light flashed in my brain 'eh HERM! Do your blood sugar!'

3.7. It's not an overly drastic horrible number. BUT I was having one of those lows. The ones that come on hard and fast, with the ravenous force of ten men (who at the same time feel as though they are bouncing around on my brain so I can't think straight!). Plus as luck would have it, I was at work early, no supportive coworkers in sight, but instead two contractors who needed assisting (on different things simultaneously). Cue 'Oh why do I have to have diabetes' thoughts!

It's also just a bit down right crappy going low like this right at the beginning of the work day, I always feel slightly 'under' all day. Looking forward to bed already.

Oh Hello Tuesday

Running in the morning can be difficult. It's already part happening before I even wake up properly and while I'm out on the road I'm gradually becoming more refreshed and preparing myself for the day. But each morning also seems to have a slightly different feel... like they all have their own personalities. Monday, she can be a bit hit and miss. It all depends on how she feels about Sunday as to whether its going to be a hard slog (because I ate too many carbs and had a lazy day!) or ready and powered up after taking a day off from the pavement. Tuesday is the practical joker. Tuesday is today and I've just once again been punked.

You see Tuesday is rubbish collection day in my suburb. With a mind still half asleep I can never quite remember not to run too close to the bins, as any other day they are not there, not in my main line of running. The houses in my suburb have a large area of bitumen set in front of them before the actual road so it means the owners need to roll their bins out a long way... but there's no particular spot for the bins or any sort of general rule... which is fine, but it also makes for some sort of early morning obstacle course.

So running on Tuesdays... gradually becoming more refreshed and preparing myself for the day as I run along. Focusing on powering through to the end... then all of a sudden BOOOOM! It takes me aback, I try not to stumble (highly embarrassing...I try to act normal...I'm cool). It's in my throat! Swinging from my tonsils! And just when I really need good, clean air deep in my lungs, I've taken in a big breath, just as I've come to a bin! Garbage gas in my face, in my mouth and its soooo not funny!

To make matters worse, this usually happens at least twice every Tuesday. There's a big hill I need to get back up to get home. It's on one of those little roads that you're never quite sure if there's another car coming, and there sure ain't enough room for two cars, a runner and the bins. So I have to run near the bins. And of course there's always one strategically parked right at the top of the hill, just as I come over the incline. Perfectly positioned for deep breaths. Tuesday morning you are not my favourite!