Whatever the stages of grief and which ever order they appear, I seem to have transcended into the next one. Or perhaps revisiting one I thought I was through. I just know that I paused for a moment this week and realised I was 'here' and not 'there'.
I'm at the one year mark of when we first found out about mums diagnosis with terminal cancer. Unexpectedly I seem to be finding this quite difficult.
Easter is hard without mum. We're not a religious family nor do we do copious amounts of chocolate but she just had this way of making it just so. When I was little, she always organised an egg hunt which ran through the entire house and into the garden, and every year my brother and I got matching bunnies of some sort. Even with my diagnosis she still carried on the same, believing a little of the best chocolate was much better than the toxins of artificial sweeteners. I wish I could just skip Easter this year, take a big breath, and try deal with it next year! Just the thought of an Easter egg makes me feel sick!
I'm trying really hard to up my workouts and keep my diet in check as I'm sure this is one of 'those times' when I don't quite realise just how close to the edge I'm pushing myself! Also off to get a flu shot tomorrow- that's the last thing I need! A flu monster trying to sabotage my blood sugars!!!
I'd just like to say thank you to the couple of people who have contacted me recently to see if I'm OK. I haven't got back to all of you yet but your kindness really touched me and reminded me how wonderful the DOC community can be and that I should stop abandoning the blog everytime I say I'm back!!!
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