Stream of Consciousness Day....here we go!
Hmmmm....
So I'm feeling a little guilty, a little tense. This is a problem of mine that I constantly have to pull myself up on. Why I automatically feel the need to take everyone else's emotions on board as well as create more weight to my issues, I don't think I'll ever quite know. I just know I do it. I am also pretty sure there is also many a woman out there that knows what I mean. I feel like in some way I'm supposed to fix everybody and everything...that's when diabetes gets left behind, then I get tired and then I can't help anyone! The alternative is to tell others 'no' or 'not right know' or 'just give me a minute first'...but then I feel bad. The dumbest part is I know this is kinda stupid.
The other silly part is that I think I actually really really want to be Super Woman: cape and flying powers included. I think it'd be great to chuck in the following skills as well: time travelling, invisibility, super human strength, and a couple of flash devises (maybe a couple of fancy iPhone apps) that let me transport, country hop, speak foreign languages and super sense my blood sugars. Not much to ask.
I would love to only need four hours of sleep a night. I've heard of those people: amazing. I want to earn a great income, be crazy fit, have amazing blood sugars, fight for diabetes at a national/international level, build kindergartens in the developing world, help my community, be a nutritionist, travel the world, blog everyday(!), raise money, be a personal trainer, motivate people, own a dog, own a cat, have children, make a great business idea soar, help my family, take a cruise, learn new languages, study abroad, drive from East Coast to West Coast in America.... and *sigh* I've pressured myself into wanting it all right now. It wasn't that long ago that I also wanted to work for the UN.
Today I should be excited. I'm one day away from a month of annual leave. I think I wont be able to believe it until I'm actually a few days in (coz its going to take that long to realise I don't have to get up and be somewhere by 8am everyday!). But I'm tired, so tired. Tired like I'll sleep the whole first part of leave away. The type of tired that coffee can't cure.
I haven't been so good on the Health Activist Writers Month Challenge this week because for some reason, going on annual leave means quadrupling your workload the week before! Quite laughable really. And I'm still panicked that there's heaps to do with no one to do it while I'm away... That may just be the control freak in me though.
One of the things I'm looking forward to the most on my break: holidaying in my home. It might sound boring or simple, but I can't wait. I'm also off to Singapore and Thailand which will be a blast. But I just can't wait to take time out to myself, chilling in my home. I can feel the serenity already! Bliss.
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